Day 2 completed of operation quit smoking. I never realized how fucking lame nicotine withdrawal is. I’ve been having the most intense, weird, vivid nightmares (and not taking any nicotine patches or anything, just quit cold turkey). No energy. Oh, and the most horrific headache I have ever had. Ever. Like, the type of headache where if you move your head too fast it feels 50x worse than the worst headache ever. And it never goes away. It’s just a continuous barrage of fail throughout the day.
Let me just add some more details to these series of unfortunate events: I’m also on a 12 day herbal detox. Started same day as my no smoking decision. Because it seems stupid to smoke while I’m doing a full body detox. So I’m also on this super strict eating regimen that means I have to eat like a squirrel. And also take these disgusting tasting vitamins and drink things that taste like what I imagine satan’s piss would taste like. And I’m a grumpy Iranian because of all this. It’s only day two. Let’s hope this crap gets better. I mean, I know it’s for the better. Once my body gets used to being a squirrel it’ll get easier. I just hate it now. And man, I want a smoke.
P.S: On my first day quitting smoking, I came home and randomly found this tiny broken cigarette in my room. And I desperately smoked the one puff it had like a homeless crack addict. I kind of loled at my pathetic life after.
I am the textbook idealist.
Anonymous asked: If you had to sum up the contents of your blog in 5 words, what would they be?
I love this question! Hmmmm. I’d say: introspection, growth, spirituality, history, & alien
Alien being what I view myself as most of the time… Hahahaha. Someone who feels like their interests and fascination with just BEING HERE, in this body, requires some major learning. Just not feeling exactly like you belong, but still being happy to be different.
I am so fascinated by history, particularly very ancient history, and I share a lot of things related to that on this blog. But mainly I have a love for just anything with what early humanity creates to understand life. Divination, astrology, worship and rituals. Not that I personally do every single one, but I just love it all. It’s something that I don’t want us to forget about in the future.
Anonymous asked: you write that you do not know how to speak persian, since you are in canada. honey, that'an excuse, not a reason. I really wonder why all European Iranians know Farsi, while the North Americans don't. Make your Iran tickets ready and learn it :D
LOL, I wish I didn’t lose my language as much as I have, but my parents have been talking English to me even in our home since the very beginning, so I don’t have the usual Iranian family where Farsi is still spoken amongst eachother. It’s hard to speak the language when we ourselves do not have more than maybe one Iranian friend and do not take part in all the related parties or events.
To be honest, I love the culture and beauty of Iran. I appreciate it and love to admire its history, but my family and I don’t enjoy being around a lot of other Iranians or going to events based around that stuff. We just don’t feel a lot of connection to the people we have met and to be frank a lot of them are just people we have nothing in common with or like to be with. It’s just because we have lived in a lifestyle that has been very detached from that whole thing. Even before living here, my mom taught English and never really enjoyed a lot of Persian tradition and views. It’s just a strange kind of up-bringing. I still love it and really am appreciative, because my parents never pushed any of their views on me and allowed me to grow up to be my own person.
I’m still so happy I’m Iranian in my blood. It’s an added beauty and exotic-ness not everyone has